Missing

I read something this week. A Fanfic. It may be silly, or it may be the hormones...but it made me cry. And it made me remember you.
I'm watching The Green Mile, biting off the nail polish. Bad things happened today, and I feel bad...useless to my Host.
I miss you. Like you have no idea. Every time I feel weak, every time I cry, I wish you were here...around. Close to me.
But you're gone. I don't know if you crossed over, or you found someone else....but I really wish you were still here. I need you to guide me, lead me, tell me what to do. You're missing all the things I wanted to share with you in this new life; my pregnancy, Di, the days when everything's alright.
But I miss you the most when I need you. When things are going wrong, and we shout and cry and the world falls down on us...that's when I need you the most.
I miss you, John.